Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?How do I ask my manager what my raise is ahead of time?How can an employee perform a self-appraisal without being arrogant?what to do with the arrogant coworker who doesn't want to cooperate?How to get intern to not stare at me during the day?How to communicate with a ''protected'' arrogant collegue, and not to fall on their level?As a remote employee, how do I get coworkers to give me information I need to do my job?How to insist that my skill be respected without seeming arrogant?How to deal with noisy and arrogant co-worker with the attitude?How to get noticed at workplace?How to get hints on workplace culture during the interview?

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Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?


Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?How do I ask my manager what my raise is ahead of time?How can an employee perform a self-appraisal without being arrogant?what to do with the arrogant coworker who doesn't want to cooperate?How to get intern to not stare at me during the day?How to communicate with a ''protected'' arrogant collegue, and not to fall on their level?As a remote employee, how do I get coworkers to give me information I need to do my job?How to insist that my skill be respected without seeming arrogant?How to deal with noisy and arrogant co-worker with the attitude?How to get noticed at workplace?How to get hints on workplace culture during the interview?













43















A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.



I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?










share|improve this question



















  • 3





    "Arrogant" is in the eye of the beholder. "Over inflated" is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with trumpeting your own brand. You just need to understand your audience, know what they value and how they like to learn of your accomplishments.

    – Joe Strazzere
    9 hours ago







  • 6





    Very very related: Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

    – David K
    9 hours ago











  • I think you need to define what you mean by getting ahead. For instance, when your colleague "gets ahead" by "mingling with important people", that means he has to spend a lot of his time doing the mingling instead of things that many people would find more pleasurable.

    – jamesqf
    8 hours ago











  • This entirely depends on what you mean by "arrogant". If you mean "getting very little done, bragging loudly about everything you do, and making up stories about things you haven't done", then no. But if you mean "Taking pride in what you accomplish, communicating your work to others, and discussing your accomplishments with peers", then by all means be more 'arrogant'. Taking pride in a job well done is not a character flaw, so long as it is a job well done.

    – Zibbobz
    8 hours ago











  • @jamesq no not always, they will come to him at times

    – bobo2000
    5 hours ago















43















A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.



I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?










share|improve this question



















  • 3





    "Arrogant" is in the eye of the beholder. "Over inflated" is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with trumpeting your own brand. You just need to understand your audience, know what they value and how they like to learn of your accomplishments.

    – Joe Strazzere
    9 hours ago







  • 6





    Very very related: Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

    – David K
    9 hours ago











  • I think you need to define what you mean by getting ahead. For instance, when your colleague "gets ahead" by "mingling with important people", that means he has to spend a lot of his time doing the mingling instead of things that many people would find more pleasurable.

    – jamesqf
    8 hours ago











  • This entirely depends on what you mean by "arrogant". If you mean "getting very little done, bragging loudly about everything you do, and making up stories about things you haven't done", then no. But if you mean "Taking pride in what you accomplish, communicating your work to others, and discussing your accomplishments with peers", then by all means be more 'arrogant'. Taking pride in a job well done is not a character flaw, so long as it is a job well done.

    – Zibbobz
    8 hours ago











  • @jamesq no not always, they will come to him at times

    – bobo2000
    5 hours ago













43












43








43


7






A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.



I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?










share|improve this question
















A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.



I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?







communication work-environment company-culture relationships competition






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 9 hours ago









jcmack

9,90922450




9,90922450










asked 11 hours ago









bobo2000bobo2000

6,414113565




6,414113565







  • 3





    "Arrogant" is in the eye of the beholder. "Over inflated" is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with trumpeting your own brand. You just need to understand your audience, know what they value and how they like to learn of your accomplishments.

    – Joe Strazzere
    9 hours ago







  • 6





    Very very related: Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

    – David K
    9 hours ago











  • I think you need to define what you mean by getting ahead. For instance, when your colleague "gets ahead" by "mingling with important people", that means he has to spend a lot of his time doing the mingling instead of things that many people would find more pleasurable.

    – jamesqf
    8 hours ago











  • This entirely depends on what you mean by "arrogant". If you mean "getting very little done, bragging loudly about everything you do, and making up stories about things you haven't done", then no. But if you mean "Taking pride in what you accomplish, communicating your work to others, and discussing your accomplishments with peers", then by all means be more 'arrogant'. Taking pride in a job well done is not a character flaw, so long as it is a job well done.

    – Zibbobz
    8 hours ago











  • @jamesq no not always, they will come to him at times

    – bobo2000
    5 hours ago












  • 3





    "Arrogant" is in the eye of the beholder. "Over inflated" is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with trumpeting your own brand. You just need to understand your audience, know what they value and how they like to learn of your accomplishments.

    – Joe Strazzere
    9 hours ago







  • 6





    Very very related: Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

    – David K
    9 hours ago











  • I think you need to define what you mean by getting ahead. For instance, when your colleague "gets ahead" by "mingling with important people", that means he has to spend a lot of his time doing the mingling instead of things that many people would find more pleasurable.

    – jamesqf
    8 hours ago











  • This entirely depends on what you mean by "arrogant". If you mean "getting very little done, bragging loudly about everything you do, and making up stories about things you haven't done", then no. But if you mean "Taking pride in what you accomplish, communicating your work to others, and discussing your accomplishments with peers", then by all means be more 'arrogant'. Taking pride in a job well done is not a character flaw, so long as it is a job well done.

    – Zibbobz
    8 hours ago











  • @jamesq no not always, they will come to him at times

    – bobo2000
    5 hours ago







3




3





"Arrogant" is in the eye of the beholder. "Over inflated" is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with trumpeting your own brand. You just need to understand your audience, know what they value and how they like to learn of your accomplishments.

– Joe Strazzere
9 hours ago






"Arrogant" is in the eye of the beholder. "Over inflated" is in the eye of the beholder. Nothing wrong with trumpeting your own brand. You just need to understand your audience, know what they value and how they like to learn of your accomplishments.

– Joe Strazzere
9 hours ago





6




6





Very very related: Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

– David K
9 hours ago





Very very related: Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

– David K
9 hours ago













I think you need to define what you mean by getting ahead. For instance, when your colleague "gets ahead" by "mingling with important people", that means he has to spend a lot of his time doing the mingling instead of things that many people would find more pleasurable.

– jamesqf
8 hours ago





I think you need to define what you mean by getting ahead. For instance, when your colleague "gets ahead" by "mingling with important people", that means he has to spend a lot of his time doing the mingling instead of things that many people would find more pleasurable.

– jamesqf
8 hours ago













This entirely depends on what you mean by "arrogant". If you mean "getting very little done, bragging loudly about everything you do, and making up stories about things you haven't done", then no. But if you mean "Taking pride in what you accomplish, communicating your work to others, and discussing your accomplishments with peers", then by all means be more 'arrogant'. Taking pride in a job well done is not a character flaw, so long as it is a job well done.

– Zibbobz
8 hours ago





This entirely depends on what you mean by "arrogant". If you mean "getting very little done, bragging loudly about everything you do, and making up stories about things you haven't done", then no. But if you mean "Taking pride in what you accomplish, communicating your work to others, and discussing your accomplishments with peers", then by all means be more 'arrogant'. Taking pride in a job well done is not a character flaw, so long as it is a job well done.

– Zibbobz
8 hours ago













@jamesq no not always, they will come to him at times

– bobo2000
5 hours ago





@jamesq no not always, they will come to him at times

– bobo2000
5 hours ago










6 Answers
6






active

oldest

votes


















34















Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?




No, never.




Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




Yes, always.



There is a difference between arrogance and being straightforward or truthful (vs. being diplomatic or "politically correct"), some seem to confuse these.




I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




Very good, please keep it up.




The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind




There is a BIG difference between being arrogant and being able to "sell" something (or, oneself). This has nothing to do with one's ego.




  • Yes, it's true, not always everything gets noticed on their own and you need to make conscious efforts to make sure you are receiving what you are supposed to receive. That's how the real world works.



    Point to note: I'm not suggesting to present falsified claims about achievements, however, at times, the complexity and hardship one needs to overcome to achieve something is not visible to everyone unless the one who faced that, first-hands, explains about that. No need to be "all-emotional" about that, simple statistical analysis / comparisons do the trick most of the time. One of the best ways I've found to be truly useful to convey the overall effort invested while being subtle.



  • On the other hand, excessive self-promotion also will surely attract negative side-effects.


You need to find a balance between these, "how to self-promote without coming off as a jerk".



Some people have a natural quality for it, most of us need to practice.






share|improve this answer




















  • 4





    Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

    – Upper_Case
    10 hours ago











  • This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

    – Seth R
    10 hours ago






  • 1





    @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

    – bobo2000
    10 hours ago







  • 8





    @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    10 hours ago






  • 5





    "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

    – Bill Horvath
    9 hours ago


















28














This is a great question, and last time I checked (which was admittedly a long time ago), the psychological literature doesn't have a definitive answer. So I checked again.



The Industrial/Organizational Psychologist has a thorough, relatively recent article on Arrogance (PDF) and its impact on the workplace. One of the most interesting things in the article is they define Arrogance as (I'm paraphrasing here) putting others down, rather than putting oneself ahead. "Hubris" is the word they use to describe the kinds of behaviors you're talking about.



So what do we know about hubris? Though regrettably I haven't had time to do a thorough literature review, I found this rather persuasive article (PDF), which states:




"...hubris is the result of repeated interactions between actors
within particular organizational contexts that facilitate its
emergence. My contribution develops the view that hubris is much more
of an organizational than a psychological phenomenon, and certainly
more so than conventional accounts are inclined to acknowledge."




In other words, this author's contentions line up nicely with what you're seeing - Your colleague continues to engage in hubristic behaviors, because you're working in an environment that rewards that kind of thing (through face-time with more senior people, etc.)



So to answer your question, I'd say it's probably a qualified 'yes': you may have to behave that way to get ahead at this employer. Go somewhere else, and your experience may be entirely different.






share|improve this answer

























  • +1 for an evidence-based answer

    – Dave Gremlin
    9 hours ago






  • 3





    Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

    – CKM
    8 hours ago






  • 7





    This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

    – Beofett
    7 hours ago






  • 2





    This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

    – Aaron F
    7 hours ago











  • "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

    – Mazura
    5 hours ago


















11














No, but you do have to be confident, assertive, and able to promote yourself.



The reason arrogant people seem to get ahead is that they are OVERCONFIDENT, AGRESSIVE, and EGOCENTRIC



Those are often mistaken for the virtues I mentioned.



What you don't see is that they tend to burn bridges, overpromise and undeliver, accumulate enemies, and eventually get burned out if not pushed out.




In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




This is where you fall down.



You may be getting the work done, but does anyone know what you do? If you're not bragging about it, probably not. Now, a bit of bragging is a good thing, because it's just letting people know what you do.




Wow, we nearly had a system crash yesterday, but I found out what was causing the trouble and I stepped and fixed it before it could do damage.




There's nothing wrong with making a big deal about something that is a big deal.




I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




Why not make things sound better? A bit of optimism is a morale boost, it also helps you to set goals. If you project mediocre results, you'll get them, if you push things to a bit more optimistic view, you not only project that optimism on others, you're seen as a "can do" type of person, and also you are setting higher standards for yourself as well.






share|improve this answer























  • great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

    – aw04
    6 hours ago











  • +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

    – Austin Hastings
    5 hours ago


















3














One thing I've seen in my career is that you do need to take time to promote yourself a bit. It isn't ideal, and it's not really in companies' best interests to rely on it, but they do. Managers can't be reliably counted on to just know your contributions and reward you accordingly, so you need to take time to discuss projects you're working on and their impact for the your team and if possible for the company.



If your company has periodic reviews, then that is a great time to review these things and highlight what you've been doing. Having somewhat regular 1 on 1 conversations with your boss is another great way to do it.



For example, if hypothetically someone wanted to be promoted to senior engineer, then document important contributions such as taking initiative and being responsible for projects. Basically, write something up demonstrating past work that matches what a senior engineer does and use them as justification for being ready to do that work all of the time, make it known that that person wants the promotion, and see where the conversation goes.



Nobody likes shameless self-promotion, and a lot can be done just by having one on one conversations and letting your boss(es) know what you want. Obviously the previous example can be adjusted for whatever promotion is wanted, for a raise, or whatever. All in all it's a balancing act, but you need to promote yourself a bit or you probably won't get what you deserve.






share|improve this answer






























    2














    This will obviously vary depending on your industry, location, and the people you work with.



    In my short time working I've moved up very quickly and I've told all my college friends this:



    All I did was work hard and the hard work was noticed. Stepping out of your comfort zone was a big help for me. Ever heard "dress for the job you want and not the job you have?".



    What your seeing could be this guy being a little bit of a over the top, but it could also be you seeing him step outside of your comfort zone and therefore it seems odd.






    share|improve this answer






























      1














      Executive summary:



      • Lying about your achievements is obviously wrong--don't do that.

      • Consider that maybe your colleague deserves some of the recognition he's getting.

      • Don't worry about your colleague or how he's doing "better than you".

      • There's still nothing wrong with marketing yourself a little better as long as you don't compromise your principles.

      First, let's talk about your colleague




      A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



      ...



      The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events...




      Sounds like his career is starting to take off. He's leveraged his accomplishments (real or imaginary) to "climb the corporate ladder" to the point where he is mingling with the important people as you say.



      Perhaps he is being arrogant to the point of misrepresenting the facts, as you say, or maybe he's just really good at putting a positive spin on his accomplishments and networking. Without specific examples, it's not easy for me, an internet stranger, to say. If he is indeed "masking the reality of the situation" as you say he is, you already know that that strategy can't work in the long-term. If you continue in a cycle of lying, you're bound to trip over yourself eventually.



      But there's also a possibility he might actually have accomplished something here and his newfound recognition is deserved. Keep in mind that you almost certainly don't see everything from your point of view.



      Now let's talk about you




      In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



      ...I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.




      If I can offer you a single piece of advice for future success and happiness, it would be this: Don't compare yourself to other people! There will always be someone in your life that you think has it better than you do, and perhaps they don't truly deserve it (or maybe they do). That's not your concern. You'll only make yourself miserable thinking about it. Getting caught in these thought vortexes is not healthy or productive.



      It sounds like you get fulfillment out of getting the job done, and getting it right. That's terrific! Focus on doing things right and producing quality output. You may not experience a meteoric rise to rockstardom, but people will notice.



      Finally, the answer to your main question




      I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



      Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




      You don't need to be an egotist or a liar to be successful, but there's nothing wrong with learning from what has helped your colleague without compromising your standards. You might need to think about promoting yourself a little more, without lying, of course. For me, this meant learning to focus on the positives a little more.



      In morning standup meetings, I used to make the mistake on focusing too much on what went wrong yesterday and how much I was struggling. I found this was eroding management's confidence in my ability to do my work when that really wasn't the issue at all, I was just focusing too much on the negatives, without presenting what I was planning to do to resolve them. So instead, I started saying things like, "I ran into trouble with [X] issue yesterday, but today I'm planning on trying approach [Y] and [Z] to resolve the issue." That gave management insight into the fact that there was a problem, but also that I had a good idea of what to do to fix it. And when I didn't have a good solution, it turned into a discussion where someone would help me find a better approach. This hasn't made me wildly successful, but it has drastically improved my relationship with management and helped us understand each other a little more. And when I finally completed something, management already knew that the work that I put in was quality work, because they were part of it.



      For you, it might be a different application, but I think the lesson is the same. There's nothing wrong with "selling yourself" as long as you're telling the truth.






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        6 Answers
        6






        active

        oldest

        votes








        6 Answers
        6






        active

        oldest

        votes









        active

        oldest

        votes






        active

        oldest

        votes









        34















        Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?




        No, never.




        Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




        Yes, always.



        There is a difference between arrogance and being straightforward or truthful (vs. being diplomatic or "politically correct"), some seem to confuse these.




        I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Very good, please keep it up.




        The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind




        There is a BIG difference between being arrogant and being able to "sell" something (or, oneself). This has nothing to do with one's ego.




        • Yes, it's true, not always everything gets noticed on their own and you need to make conscious efforts to make sure you are receiving what you are supposed to receive. That's how the real world works.



          Point to note: I'm not suggesting to present falsified claims about achievements, however, at times, the complexity and hardship one needs to overcome to achieve something is not visible to everyone unless the one who faced that, first-hands, explains about that. No need to be "all-emotional" about that, simple statistical analysis / comparisons do the trick most of the time. One of the best ways I've found to be truly useful to convey the overall effort invested while being subtle.



        • On the other hand, excessive self-promotion also will surely attract negative side-effects.


        You need to find a balance between these, "how to self-promote without coming off as a jerk".



        Some people have a natural quality for it, most of us need to practice.






        share|improve this answer




















        • 4





          Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

          – Upper_Case
          10 hours ago











        • This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

          – Seth R
          10 hours ago






        • 1





          @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

          – bobo2000
          10 hours ago







        • 8





          @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

          – Sourav Ghosh
          10 hours ago






        • 5





          "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

          – Bill Horvath
          9 hours ago















        34















        Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?




        No, never.




        Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




        Yes, always.



        There is a difference between arrogance and being straightforward or truthful (vs. being diplomatic or "politically correct"), some seem to confuse these.




        I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Very good, please keep it up.




        The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind




        There is a BIG difference between being arrogant and being able to "sell" something (or, oneself). This has nothing to do with one's ego.




        • Yes, it's true, not always everything gets noticed on their own and you need to make conscious efforts to make sure you are receiving what you are supposed to receive. That's how the real world works.



          Point to note: I'm not suggesting to present falsified claims about achievements, however, at times, the complexity and hardship one needs to overcome to achieve something is not visible to everyone unless the one who faced that, first-hands, explains about that. No need to be "all-emotional" about that, simple statistical analysis / comparisons do the trick most of the time. One of the best ways I've found to be truly useful to convey the overall effort invested while being subtle.



        • On the other hand, excessive self-promotion also will surely attract negative side-effects.


        You need to find a balance between these, "how to self-promote without coming off as a jerk".



        Some people have a natural quality for it, most of us need to practice.






        share|improve this answer




















        • 4





          Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

          – Upper_Case
          10 hours ago











        • This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

          – Seth R
          10 hours ago






        • 1





          @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

          – bobo2000
          10 hours ago







        • 8





          @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

          – Sourav Ghosh
          10 hours ago






        • 5





          "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

          – Bill Horvath
          9 hours ago













        34












        34








        34








        Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?




        No, never.




        Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




        Yes, always.



        There is a difference between arrogance and being straightforward or truthful (vs. being diplomatic or "politically correct"), some seem to confuse these.




        I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Very good, please keep it up.




        The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind




        There is a BIG difference between being arrogant and being able to "sell" something (or, oneself). This has nothing to do with one's ego.




        • Yes, it's true, not always everything gets noticed on their own and you need to make conscious efforts to make sure you are receiving what you are supposed to receive. That's how the real world works.



          Point to note: I'm not suggesting to present falsified claims about achievements, however, at times, the complexity and hardship one needs to overcome to achieve something is not visible to everyone unless the one who faced that, first-hands, explains about that. No need to be "all-emotional" about that, simple statistical analysis / comparisons do the trick most of the time. One of the best ways I've found to be truly useful to convey the overall effort invested while being subtle.



        • On the other hand, excessive self-promotion also will surely attract negative side-effects.


        You need to find a balance between these, "how to self-promote without coming off as a jerk".



        Some people have a natural quality for it, most of us need to practice.






        share|improve this answer
















        Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead?




        No, never.




        Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




        Yes, always.



        There is a difference between arrogance and being straightforward or truthful (vs. being diplomatic or "politically correct"), some seem to confuse these.




        I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Very good, please keep it up.




        The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events whereas I am starting to feel like I am being left behind




        There is a BIG difference between being arrogant and being able to "sell" something (or, oneself). This has nothing to do with one's ego.




        • Yes, it's true, not always everything gets noticed on their own and you need to make conscious efforts to make sure you are receiving what you are supposed to receive. That's how the real world works.



          Point to note: I'm not suggesting to present falsified claims about achievements, however, at times, the complexity and hardship one needs to overcome to achieve something is not visible to everyone unless the one who faced that, first-hands, explains about that. No need to be "all-emotional" about that, simple statistical analysis / comparisons do the trick most of the time. One of the best ways I've found to be truly useful to convey the overall effort invested while being subtle.



        • On the other hand, excessive self-promotion also will surely attract negative side-effects.


        You need to find a balance between these, "how to self-promote without coming off as a jerk".



        Some people have a natural quality for it, most of us need to practice.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 11 hours ago

























        answered 11 hours ago









        Sourav GhoshSourav Ghosh

        5,34132444




        5,34132444







        • 4





          Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

          – Upper_Case
          10 hours ago











        • This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

          – Seth R
          10 hours ago






        • 1





          @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

          – bobo2000
          10 hours ago







        • 8





          @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

          – Sourav Ghosh
          10 hours ago






        • 5





          "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

          – Bill Horvath
          9 hours ago












        • 4





          Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

          – Upper_Case
          10 hours ago











        • This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

          – Seth R
          10 hours ago






        • 1





          @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

          – bobo2000
          10 hours ago







        • 8





          @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

          – Sourav Ghosh
          10 hours ago






        • 5





          "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

          – Bill Horvath
          9 hours ago







        4




        4





        Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

        – Upper_Case
        10 hours ago





        Assertive and self-promoting are descriptions, while arrogant is a judgement. The OP seems to be conflating these unconditionally, and then adopting a "morally superior" stance in response (and simultaneously de-valuing "getting ahead").

        – Upper_Case
        10 hours ago













        This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

        – Seth R
        10 hours ago





        This is spot-on, and it was probably the hardest lesson for me in the workplace (it still is). Doing good work is important, but if you just keep your head down you are likely to be taken for granted and forgotten, no matter how good you are. It is also important to learn how to remind people of how valuable you are. This can be really uncomfortable, but it is vital.

        – Seth R
        10 hours ago




        1




        1





        @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

        – bobo2000
        10 hours ago






        @Upper_Case the guy keeps on taking credit for other people's work by downplaying what they have done despite taking benefit of the work they have started. He improves on their work slightly, then goes around introducing the work they have done as his own. That is why he is arrogant, and it is annoying.

        – bobo2000
        10 hours ago





        8




        8





        @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

        – Sourav Ghosh
        10 hours ago





        @bobo2000 Sorry to say, but he is able to do that because the "other" people, from whom he is snatching the credit, never speaks up.

        – Sourav Ghosh
        10 hours ago




        5




        5





        "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

        – Bill Horvath
        9 hours ago





        "Do I need to be arrogant to get ahead? No, never. Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego? Yes, always." Respectfully, this isn't consistent with the research on the subject. I didn't down-vote your answer, but see my answer below for details on what I'm driving at.

        – Bill Horvath
        9 hours ago













        28














        This is a great question, and last time I checked (which was admittedly a long time ago), the psychological literature doesn't have a definitive answer. So I checked again.



        The Industrial/Organizational Psychologist has a thorough, relatively recent article on Arrogance (PDF) and its impact on the workplace. One of the most interesting things in the article is they define Arrogance as (I'm paraphrasing here) putting others down, rather than putting oneself ahead. "Hubris" is the word they use to describe the kinds of behaviors you're talking about.



        So what do we know about hubris? Though regrettably I haven't had time to do a thorough literature review, I found this rather persuasive article (PDF), which states:




        "...hubris is the result of repeated interactions between actors
        within particular organizational contexts that facilitate its
        emergence. My contribution develops the view that hubris is much more
        of an organizational than a psychological phenomenon, and certainly
        more so than conventional accounts are inclined to acknowledge."




        In other words, this author's contentions line up nicely with what you're seeing - Your colleague continues to engage in hubristic behaviors, because you're working in an environment that rewards that kind of thing (through face-time with more senior people, etc.)



        So to answer your question, I'd say it's probably a qualified 'yes': you may have to behave that way to get ahead at this employer. Go somewhere else, and your experience may be entirely different.






        share|improve this answer

























        • +1 for an evidence-based answer

          – Dave Gremlin
          9 hours ago






        • 3





          Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

          – CKM
          8 hours ago






        • 7





          This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

          – Beofett
          7 hours ago






        • 2





          This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

          – Aaron F
          7 hours ago











        • "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

          – Mazura
          5 hours ago















        28














        This is a great question, and last time I checked (which was admittedly a long time ago), the psychological literature doesn't have a definitive answer. So I checked again.



        The Industrial/Organizational Psychologist has a thorough, relatively recent article on Arrogance (PDF) and its impact on the workplace. One of the most interesting things in the article is they define Arrogance as (I'm paraphrasing here) putting others down, rather than putting oneself ahead. "Hubris" is the word they use to describe the kinds of behaviors you're talking about.



        So what do we know about hubris? Though regrettably I haven't had time to do a thorough literature review, I found this rather persuasive article (PDF), which states:




        "...hubris is the result of repeated interactions between actors
        within particular organizational contexts that facilitate its
        emergence. My contribution develops the view that hubris is much more
        of an organizational than a psychological phenomenon, and certainly
        more so than conventional accounts are inclined to acknowledge."




        In other words, this author's contentions line up nicely with what you're seeing - Your colleague continues to engage in hubristic behaviors, because you're working in an environment that rewards that kind of thing (through face-time with more senior people, etc.)



        So to answer your question, I'd say it's probably a qualified 'yes': you may have to behave that way to get ahead at this employer. Go somewhere else, and your experience may be entirely different.






        share|improve this answer

























        • +1 for an evidence-based answer

          – Dave Gremlin
          9 hours ago






        • 3





          Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

          – CKM
          8 hours ago






        • 7





          This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

          – Beofett
          7 hours ago






        • 2





          This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

          – Aaron F
          7 hours ago











        • "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

          – Mazura
          5 hours ago













        28












        28








        28







        This is a great question, and last time I checked (which was admittedly a long time ago), the psychological literature doesn't have a definitive answer. So I checked again.



        The Industrial/Organizational Psychologist has a thorough, relatively recent article on Arrogance (PDF) and its impact on the workplace. One of the most interesting things in the article is they define Arrogance as (I'm paraphrasing here) putting others down, rather than putting oneself ahead. "Hubris" is the word they use to describe the kinds of behaviors you're talking about.



        So what do we know about hubris? Though regrettably I haven't had time to do a thorough literature review, I found this rather persuasive article (PDF), which states:




        "...hubris is the result of repeated interactions between actors
        within particular organizational contexts that facilitate its
        emergence. My contribution develops the view that hubris is much more
        of an organizational than a psychological phenomenon, and certainly
        more so than conventional accounts are inclined to acknowledge."




        In other words, this author's contentions line up nicely with what you're seeing - Your colleague continues to engage in hubristic behaviors, because you're working in an environment that rewards that kind of thing (through face-time with more senior people, etc.)



        So to answer your question, I'd say it's probably a qualified 'yes': you may have to behave that way to get ahead at this employer. Go somewhere else, and your experience may be entirely different.






        share|improve this answer















        This is a great question, and last time I checked (which was admittedly a long time ago), the psychological literature doesn't have a definitive answer. So I checked again.



        The Industrial/Organizational Psychologist has a thorough, relatively recent article on Arrogance (PDF) and its impact on the workplace. One of the most interesting things in the article is they define Arrogance as (I'm paraphrasing here) putting others down, rather than putting oneself ahead. "Hubris" is the word they use to describe the kinds of behaviors you're talking about.



        So what do we know about hubris? Though regrettably I haven't had time to do a thorough literature review, I found this rather persuasive article (PDF), which states:




        "...hubris is the result of repeated interactions between actors
        within particular organizational contexts that facilitate its
        emergence. My contribution develops the view that hubris is much more
        of an organizational than a psychological phenomenon, and certainly
        more so than conventional accounts are inclined to acknowledge."




        In other words, this author's contentions line up nicely with what you're seeing - Your colleague continues to engage in hubristic behaviors, because you're working in an environment that rewards that kind of thing (through face-time with more senior people, etc.)



        So to answer your question, I'd say it's probably a qualified 'yes': you may have to behave that way to get ahead at this employer. Go somewhere else, and your experience may be entirely different.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 10 hours ago

























        answered 10 hours ago









        Bill HorvathBill Horvath

        855313




        855313












        • +1 for an evidence-based answer

          – Dave Gremlin
          9 hours ago






        • 3





          Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

          – CKM
          8 hours ago






        • 7





          This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

          – Beofett
          7 hours ago






        • 2





          This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

          – Aaron F
          7 hours ago











        • "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

          – Mazura
          5 hours ago

















        • +1 for an evidence-based answer

          – Dave Gremlin
          9 hours ago






        • 3





          Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

          – CKM
          8 hours ago






        • 7





          This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

          – Beofett
          7 hours ago






        • 2





          This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

          – Aaron F
          7 hours ago











        • "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

          – Mazura
          5 hours ago
















        +1 for an evidence-based answer

        – Dave Gremlin
        9 hours ago





        +1 for an evidence-based answer

        – Dave Gremlin
        9 hours ago




        3




        3





        Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

        – CKM
        8 hours ago





        Agreed, and the observation that personality traits that predict performance may vary by role is also supported by psychologists (Which traits predict job performance?, APA). I do worry, though, that OP has also conflated high extraversion with arrogance.

        – CKM
        8 hours ago




        7




        7





        This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

        – Beofett
        7 hours ago





        This is spot-on. I've worked in environments where self-promoters who trampled on coworkers consistently succeeded in achieving positions in management. I've worked in environments where that same type of behavior resulted in eye-rolling from coworkers and managers, but was allowed to continue. I've worked in environments where that type of behavior resulted in being shown the door very quickly. Generally, the recognition and rewards for genuine competency and high quality work is inversely related to how well hubris is tolerated.

        – Beofett
        7 hours ago




        2




        2





        This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

        – Aaron F
        7 hours ago





        This is what I have found as well. In the advertising industry it's almost required behaviour, though I'd like to think it's not the entire industry, only the few places I've worked at.

        – Aaron F
        7 hours ago













        "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

        – Mazura
        5 hours ago





        "Go to lunch!"Glengarry Glen Ross. I had the pleasure of installing some new wires in the ceiling of a call center once, where I could hear their office talk all day. Man, what a bunch of complete ... jerks.

        – Mazura
        5 hours ago











        11














        No, but you do have to be confident, assertive, and able to promote yourself.



        The reason arrogant people seem to get ahead is that they are OVERCONFIDENT, AGRESSIVE, and EGOCENTRIC



        Those are often mistaken for the virtues I mentioned.



        What you don't see is that they tend to burn bridges, overpromise and undeliver, accumulate enemies, and eventually get burned out if not pushed out.




        In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        This is where you fall down.



        You may be getting the work done, but does anyone know what you do? If you're not bragging about it, probably not. Now, a bit of bragging is a good thing, because it's just letting people know what you do.




        Wow, we nearly had a system crash yesterday, but I found out what was causing the trouble and I stepped and fixed it before it could do damage.




        There's nothing wrong with making a big deal about something that is a big deal.




        I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Why not make things sound better? A bit of optimism is a morale boost, it also helps you to set goals. If you project mediocre results, you'll get them, if you push things to a bit more optimistic view, you not only project that optimism on others, you're seen as a "can do" type of person, and also you are setting higher standards for yourself as well.






        share|improve this answer























        • great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

          – aw04
          6 hours ago











        • +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

          – Austin Hastings
          5 hours ago















        11














        No, but you do have to be confident, assertive, and able to promote yourself.



        The reason arrogant people seem to get ahead is that they are OVERCONFIDENT, AGRESSIVE, and EGOCENTRIC



        Those are often mistaken for the virtues I mentioned.



        What you don't see is that they tend to burn bridges, overpromise and undeliver, accumulate enemies, and eventually get burned out if not pushed out.




        In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        This is where you fall down.



        You may be getting the work done, but does anyone know what you do? If you're not bragging about it, probably not. Now, a bit of bragging is a good thing, because it's just letting people know what you do.




        Wow, we nearly had a system crash yesterday, but I found out what was causing the trouble and I stepped and fixed it before it could do damage.




        There's nothing wrong with making a big deal about something that is a big deal.




        I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Why not make things sound better? A bit of optimism is a morale boost, it also helps you to set goals. If you project mediocre results, you'll get them, if you push things to a bit more optimistic view, you not only project that optimism on others, you're seen as a "can do" type of person, and also you are setting higher standards for yourself as well.






        share|improve this answer























        • great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

          – aw04
          6 hours ago











        • +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

          – Austin Hastings
          5 hours ago













        11












        11








        11







        No, but you do have to be confident, assertive, and able to promote yourself.



        The reason arrogant people seem to get ahead is that they are OVERCONFIDENT, AGRESSIVE, and EGOCENTRIC



        Those are often mistaken for the virtues I mentioned.



        What you don't see is that they tend to burn bridges, overpromise and undeliver, accumulate enemies, and eventually get burned out if not pushed out.




        In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        This is where you fall down.



        You may be getting the work done, but does anyone know what you do? If you're not bragging about it, probably not. Now, a bit of bragging is a good thing, because it's just letting people know what you do.




        Wow, we nearly had a system crash yesterday, but I found out what was causing the trouble and I stepped and fixed it before it could do damage.




        There's nothing wrong with making a big deal about something that is a big deal.




        I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Why not make things sound better? A bit of optimism is a morale boost, it also helps you to set goals. If you project mediocre results, you'll get them, if you push things to a bit more optimistic view, you not only project that optimism on others, you're seen as a "can do" type of person, and also you are setting higher standards for yourself as well.






        share|improve this answer













        No, but you do have to be confident, assertive, and able to promote yourself.



        The reason arrogant people seem to get ahead is that they are OVERCONFIDENT, AGRESSIVE, and EGOCENTRIC



        Those are often mistaken for the virtues I mentioned.



        What you don't see is that they tend to burn bridges, overpromise and undeliver, accumulate enemies, and eventually get burned out if not pushed out.




        In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        This is where you fall down.



        You may be getting the work done, but does anyone know what you do? If you're not bragging about it, probably not. Now, a bit of bragging is a good thing, because it's just letting people know what you do.




        Wow, we nearly had a system crash yesterday, but I found out what was causing the trouble and I stepped and fixed it before it could do damage.




        There's nothing wrong with making a big deal about something that is a big deal.




        I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.




        Why not make things sound better? A bit of optimism is a morale boost, it also helps you to set goals. If you project mediocre results, you'll get them, if you push things to a bit more optimistic view, you not only project that optimism on others, you're seen as a "can do" type of person, and also you are setting higher standards for yourself as well.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered 10 hours ago









        Richard URichard U

        100k73272404




        100k73272404












        • great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

          – aw04
          6 hours ago











        • +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

          – Austin Hastings
          5 hours ago

















        • great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

          – aw04
          6 hours ago











        • +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

          – Austin Hastings
          5 hours ago
















        great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

        – aw04
        6 hours ago





        great point about arrogance being mistaken for confidence and why it fails in the long run

        – aw04
        6 hours ago













        +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

        – Austin Hastings
        5 hours ago





        +1 for "If you project mediocre results, you'll get them."

        – Austin Hastings
        5 hours ago











        3














        One thing I've seen in my career is that you do need to take time to promote yourself a bit. It isn't ideal, and it's not really in companies' best interests to rely on it, but they do. Managers can't be reliably counted on to just know your contributions and reward you accordingly, so you need to take time to discuss projects you're working on and their impact for the your team and if possible for the company.



        If your company has periodic reviews, then that is a great time to review these things and highlight what you've been doing. Having somewhat regular 1 on 1 conversations with your boss is another great way to do it.



        For example, if hypothetically someone wanted to be promoted to senior engineer, then document important contributions such as taking initiative and being responsible for projects. Basically, write something up demonstrating past work that matches what a senior engineer does and use them as justification for being ready to do that work all of the time, make it known that that person wants the promotion, and see where the conversation goes.



        Nobody likes shameless self-promotion, and a lot can be done just by having one on one conversations and letting your boss(es) know what you want. Obviously the previous example can be adjusted for whatever promotion is wanted, for a raise, or whatever. All in all it's a balancing act, but you need to promote yourself a bit or you probably won't get what you deserve.






        share|improve this answer



























          3














          One thing I've seen in my career is that you do need to take time to promote yourself a bit. It isn't ideal, and it's not really in companies' best interests to rely on it, but they do. Managers can't be reliably counted on to just know your contributions and reward you accordingly, so you need to take time to discuss projects you're working on and their impact for the your team and if possible for the company.



          If your company has periodic reviews, then that is a great time to review these things and highlight what you've been doing. Having somewhat regular 1 on 1 conversations with your boss is another great way to do it.



          For example, if hypothetically someone wanted to be promoted to senior engineer, then document important contributions such as taking initiative and being responsible for projects. Basically, write something up demonstrating past work that matches what a senior engineer does and use them as justification for being ready to do that work all of the time, make it known that that person wants the promotion, and see where the conversation goes.



          Nobody likes shameless self-promotion, and a lot can be done just by having one on one conversations and letting your boss(es) know what you want. Obviously the previous example can be adjusted for whatever promotion is wanted, for a raise, or whatever. All in all it's a balancing act, but you need to promote yourself a bit or you probably won't get what you deserve.






          share|improve this answer

























            3












            3








            3







            One thing I've seen in my career is that you do need to take time to promote yourself a bit. It isn't ideal, and it's not really in companies' best interests to rely on it, but they do. Managers can't be reliably counted on to just know your contributions and reward you accordingly, so you need to take time to discuss projects you're working on and their impact for the your team and if possible for the company.



            If your company has periodic reviews, then that is a great time to review these things and highlight what you've been doing. Having somewhat regular 1 on 1 conversations with your boss is another great way to do it.



            For example, if hypothetically someone wanted to be promoted to senior engineer, then document important contributions such as taking initiative and being responsible for projects. Basically, write something up demonstrating past work that matches what a senior engineer does and use them as justification for being ready to do that work all of the time, make it known that that person wants the promotion, and see where the conversation goes.



            Nobody likes shameless self-promotion, and a lot can be done just by having one on one conversations and letting your boss(es) know what you want. Obviously the previous example can be adjusted for whatever promotion is wanted, for a raise, or whatever. All in all it's a balancing act, but you need to promote yourself a bit or you probably won't get what you deserve.






            share|improve this answer













            One thing I've seen in my career is that you do need to take time to promote yourself a bit. It isn't ideal, and it's not really in companies' best interests to rely on it, but they do. Managers can't be reliably counted on to just know your contributions and reward you accordingly, so you need to take time to discuss projects you're working on and their impact for the your team and if possible for the company.



            If your company has periodic reviews, then that is a great time to review these things and highlight what you've been doing. Having somewhat regular 1 on 1 conversations with your boss is another great way to do it.



            For example, if hypothetically someone wanted to be promoted to senior engineer, then document important contributions such as taking initiative and being responsible for projects. Basically, write something up demonstrating past work that matches what a senior engineer does and use them as justification for being ready to do that work all of the time, make it known that that person wants the promotion, and see where the conversation goes.



            Nobody likes shameless self-promotion, and a lot can be done just by having one on one conversations and letting your boss(es) know what you want. Obviously the previous example can be adjusted for whatever promotion is wanted, for a raise, or whatever. All in all it's a balancing act, but you need to promote yourself a bit or you probably won't get what you deserve.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered 11 hours ago









            dbeerdbeer

            7,79951627




            7,79951627





















                2














                This will obviously vary depending on your industry, location, and the people you work with.



                In my short time working I've moved up very quickly and I've told all my college friends this:



                All I did was work hard and the hard work was noticed. Stepping out of your comfort zone was a big help for me. Ever heard "dress for the job you want and not the job you have?".



                What your seeing could be this guy being a little bit of a over the top, but it could also be you seeing him step outside of your comfort zone and therefore it seems odd.






                share|improve this answer



























                  2














                  This will obviously vary depending on your industry, location, and the people you work with.



                  In my short time working I've moved up very quickly and I've told all my college friends this:



                  All I did was work hard and the hard work was noticed. Stepping out of your comfort zone was a big help for me. Ever heard "dress for the job you want and not the job you have?".



                  What your seeing could be this guy being a little bit of a over the top, but it could also be you seeing him step outside of your comfort zone and therefore it seems odd.






                  share|improve this answer

























                    2












                    2








                    2







                    This will obviously vary depending on your industry, location, and the people you work with.



                    In my short time working I've moved up very quickly and I've told all my college friends this:



                    All I did was work hard and the hard work was noticed. Stepping out of your comfort zone was a big help for me. Ever heard "dress for the job you want and not the job you have?".



                    What your seeing could be this guy being a little bit of a over the top, but it could also be you seeing him step outside of your comfort zone and therefore it seems odd.






                    share|improve this answer













                    This will obviously vary depending on your industry, location, and the people you work with.



                    In my short time working I've moved up very quickly and I've told all my college friends this:



                    All I did was work hard and the hard work was noticed. Stepping out of your comfort zone was a big help for me. Ever heard "dress for the job you want and not the job you have?".



                    What your seeing could be this guy being a little bit of a over the top, but it could also be you seeing him step outside of your comfort zone and therefore it seems odd.







                    share|improve this answer












                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    answered 6 hours ago









                    theblindprophettheblindprophet

                    5101412




                    5101412





















                        1














                        Executive summary:



                        • Lying about your achievements is obviously wrong--don't do that.

                        • Consider that maybe your colleague deserves some of the recognition he's getting.

                        • Don't worry about your colleague or how he's doing "better than you".

                        • There's still nothing wrong with marketing yourself a little better as long as you don't compromise your principles.

                        First, let's talk about your colleague




                        A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



                        ...



                        The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events...




                        Sounds like his career is starting to take off. He's leveraged his accomplishments (real or imaginary) to "climb the corporate ladder" to the point where he is mingling with the important people as you say.



                        Perhaps he is being arrogant to the point of misrepresenting the facts, as you say, or maybe he's just really good at putting a positive spin on his accomplishments and networking. Without specific examples, it's not easy for me, an internet stranger, to say. If he is indeed "masking the reality of the situation" as you say he is, you already know that that strategy can't work in the long-term. If you continue in a cycle of lying, you're bound to trip over yourself eventually.



                        But there's also a possibility he might actually have accomplished something here and his newfound recognition is deserved. Keep in mind that you almost certainly don't see everything from your point of view.



                        Now let's talk about you




                        In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



                        ...I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.




                        If I can offer you a single piece of advice for future success and happiness, it would be this: Don't compare yourself to other people! There will always be someone in your life that you think has it better than you do, and perhaps they don't truly deserve it (or maybe they do). That's not your concern. You'll only make yourself miserable thinking about it. Getting caught in these thought vortexes is not healthy or productive.



                        It sounds like you get fulfillment out of getting the job done, and getting it right. That's terrific! Focus on doing things right and producing quality output. You may not experience a meteoric rise to rockstardom, but people will notice.



                        Finally, the answer to your main question




                        I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



                        Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




                        You don't need to be an egotist or a liar to be successful, but there's nothing wrong with learning from what has helped your colleague without compromising your standards. You might need to think about promoting yourself a little more, without lying, of course. For me, this meant learning to focus on the positives a little more.



                        In morning standup meetings, I used to make the mistake on focusing too much on what went wrong yesterday and how much I was struggling. I found this was eroding management's confidence in my ability to do my work when that really wasn't the issue at all, I was just focusing too much on the negatives, without presenting what I was planning to do to resolve them. So instead, I started saying things like, "I ran into trouble with [X] issue yesterday, but today I'm planning on trying approach [Y] and [Z] to resolve the issue." That gave management insight into the fact that there was a problem, but also that I had a good idea of what to do to fix it. And when I didn't have a good solution, it turned into a discussion where someone would help me find a better approach. This hasn't made me wildly successful, but it has drastically improved my relationship with management and helped us understand each other a little more. And when I finally completed something, management already knew that the work that I put in was quality work, because they were part of it.



                        For you, it might be a different application, but I think the lesson is the same. There's nothing wrong with "selling yourself" as long as you're telling the truth.






                        share|improve this answer



























                          1














                          Executive summary:



                          • Lying about your achievements is obviously wrong--don't do that.

                          • Consider that maybe your colleague deserves some of the recognition he's getting.

                          • Don't worry about your colleague or how he's doing "better than you".

                          • There's still nothing wrong with marketing yourself a little better as long as you don't compromise your principles.

                          First, let's talk about your colleague




                          A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



                          ...



                          The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events...




                          Sounds like his career is starting to take off. He's leveraged his accomplishments (real or imaginary) to "climb the corporate ladder" to the point where he is mingling with the important people as you say.



                          Perhaps he is being arrogant to the point of misrepresenting the facts, as you say, or maybe he's just really good at putting a positive spin on his accomplishments and networking. Without specific examples, it's not easy for me, an internet stranger, to say. If he is indeed "masking the reality of the situation" as you say he is, you already know that that strategy can't work in the long-term. If you continue in a cycle of lying, you're bound to trip over yourself eventually.



                          But there's also a possibility he might actually have accomplished something here and his newfound recognition is deserved. Keep in mind that you almost certainly don't see everything from your point of view.



                          Now let's talk about you




                          In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



                          ...I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.




                          If I can offer you a single piece of advice for future success and happiness, it would be this: Don't compare yourself to other people! There will always be someone in your life that you think has it better than you do, and perhaps they don't truly deserve it (or maybe they do). That's not your concern. You'll only make yourself miserable thinking about it. Getting caught in these thought vortexes is not healthy or productive.



                          It sounds like you get fulfillment out of getting the job done, and getting it right. That's terrific! Focus on doing things right and producing quality output. You may not experience a meteoric rise to rockstardom, but people will notice.



                          Finally, the answer to your main question




                          I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



                          Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




                          You don't need to be an egotist or a liar to be successful, but there's nothing wrong with learning from what has helped your colleague without compromising your standards. You might need to think about promoting yourself a little more, without lying, of course. For me, this meant learning to focus on the positives a little more.



                          In morning standup meetings, I used to make the mistake on focusing too much on what went wrong yesterday and how much I was struggling. I found this was eroding management's confidence in my ability to do my work when that really wasn't the issue at all, I was just focusing too much on the negatives, without presenting what I was planning to do to resolve them. So instead, I started saying things like, "I ran into trouble with [X] issue yesterday, but today I'm planning on trying approach [Y] and [Z] to resolve the issue." That gave management insight into the fact that there was a problem, but also that I had a good idea of what to do to fix it. And when I didn't have a good solution, it turned into a discussion where someone would help me find a better approach. This hasn't made me wildly successful, but it has drastically improved my relationship with management and helped us understand each other a little more. And when I finally completed something, management already knew that the work that I put in was quality work, because they were part of it.



                          For you, it might be a different application, but I think the lesson is the same. There's nothing wrong with "selling yourself" as long as you're telling the truth.






                          share|improve this answer

























                            1












                            1








                            1







                            Executive summary:



                            • Lying about your achievements is obviously wrong--don't do that.

                            • Consider that maybe your colleague deserves some of the recognition he's getting.

                            • Don't worry about your colleague or how he's doing "better than you".

                            • There's still nothing wrong with marketing yourself a little better as long as you don't compromise your principles.

                            First, let's talk about your colleague




                            A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



                            ...



                            The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events...




                            Sounds like his career is starting to take off. He's leveraged his accomplishments (real or imaginary) to "climb the corporate ladder" to the point where he is mingling with the important people as you say.



                            Perhaps he is being arrogant to the point of misrepresenting the facts, as you say, or maybe he's just really good at putting a positive spin on his accomplishments and networking. Without specific examples, it's not easy for me, an internet stranger, to say. If he is indeed "masking the reality of the situation" as you say he is, you already know that that strategy can't work in the long-term. If you continue in a cycle of lying, you're bound to trip over yourself eventually.



                            But there's also a possibility he might actually have accomplished something here and his newfound recognition is deserved. Keep in mind that you almost certainly don't see everything from your point of view.



                            Now let's talk about you




                            In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



                            ...I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.




                            If I can offer you a single piece of advice for future success and happiness, it would be this: Don't compare yourself to other people! There will always be someone in your life that you think has it better than you do, and perhaps they don't truly deserve it (or maybe they do). That's not your concern. You'll only make yourself miserable thinking about it. Getting caught in these thought vortexes is not healthy or productive.



                            It sounds like you get fulfillment out of getting the job done, and getting it right. That's terrific! Focus on doing things right and producing quality output. You may not experience a meteoric rise to rockstardom, but people will notice.



                            Finally, the answer to your main question




                            I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



                            Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




                            You don't need to be an egotist or a liar to be successful, but there's nothing wrong with learning from what has helped your colleague without compromising your standards. You might need to think about promoting yourself a little more, without lying, of course. For me, this meant learning to focus on the positives a little more.



                            In morning standup meetings, I used to make the mistake on focusing too much on what went wrong yesterday and how much I was struggling. I found this was eroding management's confidence in my ability to do my work when that really wasn't the issue at all, I was just focusing too much on the negatives, without presenting what I was planning to do to resolve them. So instead, I started saying things like, "I ran into trouble with [X] issue yesterday, but today I'm planning on trying approach [Y] and [Z] to resolve the issue." That gave management insight into the fact that there was a problem, but also that I had a good idea of what to do to fix it. And when I didn't have a good solution, it turned into a discussion where someone would help me find a better approach. This hasn't made me wildly successful, but it has drastically improved my relationship with management and helped us understand each other a little more. And when I finally completed something, management already knew that the work that I put in was quality work, because they were part of it.



                            For you, it might be a different application, but I think the lesson is the same. There's nothing wrong with "selling yourself" as long as you're telling the truth.






                            share|improve this answer













                            Executive summary:



                            • Lying about your achievements is obviously wrong--don't do that.

                            • Consider that maybe your colleague deserves some of the recognition he's getting.

                            • Don't worry about your colleague or how he's doing "better than you".

                            • There's still nothing wrong with marketing yourself a little better as long as you don't compromise your principles.

                            First, let's talk about your colleague




                            A colleague of mine is very good at PR and branding himself and does this by communicating to the whole world his successes no matter how small they are. He does this in a very arrogant way, by making it sound like he has achieved this, and often puts an overly positive spin, masking the reality of the situation which is often not ideal.



                            ...



                            The trouble is, he is now getting ahead by mingling with important people and is being invited to important events...




                            Sounds like his career is starting to take off. He's leveraged his accomplishments (real or imaginary) to "climb the corporate ladder" to the point where he is mingling with the important people as you say.



                            Perhaps he is being arrogant to the point of misrepresenting the facts, as you say, or maybe he's just really good at putting a positive spin on his accomplishments and networking. Without specific examples, it's not easy for me, an internet stranger, to say. If he is indeed "masking the reality of the situation" as you say he is, you already know that that strategy can't work in the long-term. If you continue in a cycle of lying, you're bound to trip over yourself eventually.



                            But there's also a possibility he might actually have accomplished something here and his newfound recognition is deserved. Keep in mind that you almost certainly don't see everything from your point of view.



                            Now let's talk about you




                            In contrast, I like to get work done, and not make a big deal about it. I also like to have a balanced view and do not make situations sound better than they are.



                            ...I am starting to feel like I am being left behind.




                            If I can offer you a single piece of advice for future success and happiness, it would be this: Don't compare yourself to other people! There will always be someone in your life that you think has it better than you do, and perhaps they don't truly deserve it (or maybe they do). That's not your concern. You'll only make yourself miserable thinking about it. Getting caught in these thought vortexes is not healthy or productive.



                            It sounds like you get fulfillment out of getting the job done, and getting it right. That's terrific! Focus on doing things right and producing quality output. You may not experience a meteoric rise to rockstardom, but people will notice.



                            Finally, the answer to your main question




                            I am starting to feel I need to become more like him, blow my trumpet after every little success, but I really don't want to do so. I find this egotistical.



                            Can you get ahead in the corporate world without being 'arrogant' and acting with an over inflated ego?




                            You don't need to be an egotist or a liar to be successful, but there's nothing wrong with learning from what has helped your colleague without compromising your standards. You might need to think about promoting yourself a little more, without lying, of course. For me, this meant learning to focus on the positives a little more.



                            In morning standup meetings, I used to make the mistake on focusing too much on what went wrong yesterday and how much I was struggling. I found this was eroding management's confidence in my ability to do my work when that really wasn't the issue at all, I was just focusing too much on the negatives, without presenting what I was planning to do to resolve them. So instead, I started saying things like, "I ran into trouble with [X] issue yesterday, but today I'm planning on trying approach [Y] and [Z] to resolve the issue." That gave management insight into the fact that there was a problem, but also that I had a good idea of what to do to fix it. And when I didn't have a good solution, it turned into a discussion where someone would help me find a better approach. This hasn't made me wildly successful, but it has drastically improved my relationship with management and helped us understand each other a little more. And when I finally completed something, management already knew that the work that I put in was quality work, because they were part of it.



                            For you, it might be a different application, but I think the lesson is the same. There's nothing wrong with "selling yourself" as long as you're telling the truth.







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                            CullenJCullenJ

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