Extreme, unacceptable situation and I can't attend work tomorrow morning The 2019 Stack Overflow Developer Survey Results Are InShould I tell on my colleague for not keeping to assigned work-hours and abusing work-hours as break time?My employer thinks I'm not allowed to work overtime but I am, is it expected that I correct him?Company interested in hiring me, but I want to start in 2 years at the earliestNegotiating with a difficult company offering less than the market rate and trying to invalidate my previous work experienceCan I warn my manager of both professional and personal issues with a potential job applicant?How an employee can terminate a signed contract the starting date of the employment is not until 2 and half months?

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Extreme, unacceptable situation and I can't attend work tomorrow morning



The 2019 Stack Overflow Developer Survey Results Are InShould I tell on my colleague for not keeping to assigned work-hours and abusing work-hours as break time?My employer thinks I'm not allowed to work overtime but I am, is it expected that I correct him?Company interested in hiring me, but I want to start in 2 years at the earliestNegotiating with a difficult company offering less than the market rate and trying to invalidate my previous work experienceCan I warn my manager of both professional and personal issues with a potential job applicant?How an employee can terminate a signed contract the starting date of the employment is not until 2 and half months?



.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__bot-mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;








43















  • My bride is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.

I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.










share|improve this question



















  • 76





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 3





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday







  • 1





    Are you a regular employee or a contractor? How much of the situation is already known to your boss? Surely they know you are married, do they know your wife is pregnant?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 8





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday







  • 6





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    14 hours ago

















43















  • My bride is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.

I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.










share|improve this question



















  • 76





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 3





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday







  • 1





    Are you a regular employee or a contractor? How much of the situation is already known to your boss? Surely they know you are married, do they know your wife is pregnant?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 8





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday







  • 6





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    14 hours ago













43












43








43


6






  • My bride is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.

I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.










share|improve this question
















  • My bride is pregnant.

  • She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.

  • I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.

  • I am currently on a train, traveling to her.

  • Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).

  • Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.

I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.



Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.



How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?



Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.







germany personal-problems






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 10 mins ago









Community

1




1










asked yesterday









Gray SheepGray Sheep

1,95541427




1,95541427







  • 76





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 3





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday







  • 1





    Are you a regular employee or a contractor? How much of the situation is already known to your boss? Surely they know you are married, do they know your wife is pregnant?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 8





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday







  • 6





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    14 hours ago












  • 76





    "And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 3





    (With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

    – Sourav Ghosh
    yesterday







  • 1





    Are you a regular employee or a contractor? How much of the situation is already known to your boss? Surely they know you are married, do they know your wife is pregnant?

    – nvoigt
    yesterday






  • 8





    I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

    – Yakk
    yesterday







  • 6





    @Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

    – corsiKa
    14 hours ago







76




76





"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

– nvoigt
yesterday





"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?

– nvoigt
yesterday




3




3





(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

– Sourav Ghosh
yesterday






(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.

– Sourav Ghosh
yesterday





1




1





Are you a regular employee or a contractor? How much of the situation is already known to your boss? Surely they know you are married, do they know your wife is pregnant?

– nvoigt
yesterday





Are you a regular employee or a contractor? How much of the situation is already known to your boss? Surely they know you are married, do they know your wife is pregnant?

– nvoigt
yesterday




8




8





I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

– Yakk
yesterday






I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)

– Yakk
yesterday





6




6





@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

– corsiKa
14 hours ago





@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."

– corsiKa
14 hours ago










5 Answers
5






active

oldest

votes


















195















How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?




Call as soon as you can get through.



Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



Good luck.






share|improve this answer


















  • 27





    @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

    – Joe Strazzere
    yesterday






  • 93





    Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

    – Matthew Barber
    yesterday






  • 51





    I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

    – Michael
    yesterday






  • 13





    "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

    – Magisch
    yesterday






  • 8





    Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

    – FooTheBar
    yesterday


















47














  • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


  • call him/her in the morning


Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






share|improve this answer




















  • 5





    I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday






  • 63





    The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

    – alephzero
    yesterday






  • 3





    @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday






  • 7





    There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

    – Kevin Wells
    yesterday






  • 1





    In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

    – Ivana
    5 hours ago



















17














The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






share|improve this answer






























    13














    I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



    I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



    If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



    If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






    share|improve this answer




















    • 14





      Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

      – dim
      yesterday






    • 4





      You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 3





      In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

      – bremen_matt
      yesterday






    • 5





      Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

      – Bernhard Döbler
      yesterday











    • @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

      – Martin Bonner
      yesterday


















    4














    Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



    Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



    Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



    P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






    share|improve this answer

























    • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

      – Martin Schröder
      yesterday






    • 1





      No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

      – Jan
      yesterday






    • 2





      "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

      – Voo
      19 hours ago












    • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

      – Arsak
      7 hours ago











    • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

      – Jan
      6 hours ago











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    5 Answers
    5






    active

    oldest

    votes








    5 Answers
    5






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes









    195















    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.






    share|improve this answer


















    • 27





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      yesterday






    • 93





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      yesterday






    • 51





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 13





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 8





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday















    195















    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.






    share|improve this answer


















    • 27





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      yesterday






    • 93





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      yesterday






    • 51





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 13





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 8





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday













    195












    195








    195








    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.






    share|improve this answer














    How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
    possible respect by my bosses?




    Call as soon as you can get through.



    Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.



    Good luck.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered yesterday









    Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere

    255k1317371050




    255k1317371050







    • 27





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      yesterday






    • 93





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      yesterday






    • 51





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 13





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 8





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday












    • 27





      @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

      – Joe Strazzere
      yesterday






    • 93





      Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

      – Matthew Barber
      yesterday






    • 51





      I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

      – Michael
      yesterday






    • 13





      "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

      – Magisch
      yesterday






    • 8





      Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

      – FooTheBar
      yesterday







    27




    27





    @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

    – Joe Strazzere
    yesterday





    @GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.

    – Joe Strazzere
    yesterday




    93




    93





    Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

    – Matthew Barber
    yesterday





    Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.

    – Matthew Barber
    yesterday




    51




    51





    I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

    – Michael
    yesterday





    I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.

    – Michael
    yesterday




    13




    13





    "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

    – Magisch
    yesterday





    "Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation

    – Magisch
    yesterday




    8




    8





    Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

    – FooTheBar
    yesterday





    Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).

    – FooTheBar
    yesterday













    47














    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning


    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






    share|improve this answer




















    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 63





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 3





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 7





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 1





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      5 hours ago
















    47














    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning


    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






    share|improve this answer




















    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 63





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 3





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 7





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 1





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      5 hours ago














    47












    47








    47







    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning


    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.






    share|improve this answer















    • contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride


    • call him/her in the morning


    Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited yesterday









    user87779

    10525




    10525










    answered yesterday









    SaschaSascha

    8,47721739




    8,47721739







    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 63





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 3





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 7





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 1





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      5 hours ago













    • 5





      I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 63





      The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

      – alephzero
      yesterday






    • 3





      @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

      – Tero Lahtinen
      yesterday






    • 7





      There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

      – Kevin Wells
      yesterday






    • 1





      In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

      – Ivana
      5 hours ago








    5




    5





    I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday





    I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday




    63




    63





    The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

    – alephzero
    yesterday





    The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!

    – alephzero
    yesterday




    3




    3





    @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday





    @kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.

    – Tero Lahtinen
    yesterday




    7




    7





    There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

    – Kevin Wells
    yesterday





    There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP

    – Kevin Wells
    yesterday




    1




    1





    In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

    – Ivana
    5 hours ago






    In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...

    – Ivana
    5 hours ago












    17














    The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



    From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



    IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



    Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






    share|improve this answer



























      17














      The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



      From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



      IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



      Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






      share|improve this answer

























        17












        17








        17







        The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



        From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



        IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



        Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.






        share|improve this answer













        The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).



        From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.



        IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).



        Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered yesterday









        TomTom

        5,5961423




        5,5961423





















            13














            I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



            I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



            If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



            If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






            share|improve this answer




















            • 14





              Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

              – dim
              yesterday






            • 4





              You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 3





              In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 5





              Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

              – Bernhard Döbler
              yesterday











            • @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

              – Martin Bonner
              yesterday















            13














            I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



            I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



            If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



            If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






            share|improve this answer




















            • 14





              Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

              – dim
              yesterday






            • 4





              You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 3





              In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 5





              Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

              – Bernhard Döbler
              yesterday











            • @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

              – Martin Bonner
              yesterday













            13












            13








            13







            I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



            I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



            If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



            If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.






            share|improve this answer















            I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.



            I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.



            If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.



            If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.







            share|improve this answer














            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer








            edited yesterday

























            answered yesterday









            bremen_mattbremen_matt

            27515




            27515







            • 14





              Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

              – dim
              yesterday






            • 4





              You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 3





              In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 5





              Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

              – Bernhard Döbler
              yesterday











            • @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

              – Martin Bonner
              yesterday












            • 14





              Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

              – dim
              yesterday






            • 4





              You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 3





              In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

              – bremen_matt
              yesterday






            • 5





              Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

              – Bernhard Döbler
              yesterday











            • @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

              – Martin Bonner
              yesterday







            14




            14





            Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

            – dim
            yesterday





            Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.

            – dim
            yesterday




            4




            4





            You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

            – bremen_matt
            yesterday





            You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.

            – bremen_matt
            yesterday




            3




            3





            In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

            – bremen_matt
            yesterday





            In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well

            – bremen_matt
            yesterday




            5




            5





            Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

            – Bernhard Döbler
            yesterday





            Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.

            – Bernhard Döbler
            yesterday













            @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

            – Martin Bonner
            yesterday





            @BernhardDöbler Ah! Like the Swiss Papierschweizer

            – Martin Bonner
            yesterday











            4














            Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



            Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



            Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



            P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






            share|improve this answer

























            • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

              – Martin Schröder
              yesterday






            • 1





              No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

              – Jan
              yesterday






            • 2





              "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

              – Voo
              19 hours ago












            • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

              – Arsak
              7 hours ago











            • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

              – Jan
              6 hours ago















            4














            Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



            Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



            Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



            P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






            share|improve this answer

























            • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

              – Martin Schröder
              yesterday






            • 1





              No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

              – Jan
              yesterday






            • 2





              "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

              – Voo
              19 hours ago












            • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

              – Arsak
              7 hours ago











            • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

              – Jan
              6 hours ago













            4












            4








            4







            Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



            Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



            Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



            P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.






            share|improve this answer















            Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.



            Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.



            Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.



            P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.







            share|improve this answer














            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer








            edited yesterday

























            answered yesterday









            JanJan

            1173




            1173












            • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

              – Martin Schröder
              yesterday






            • 1





              No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

              – Jan
              yesterday






            • 2





              "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

              – Voo
              19 hours ago












            • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

              – Arsak
              7 hours ago











            • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

              – Jan
              6 hours ago

















            • Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

              – Martin Schröder
              yesterday






            • 1





              No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

              – Jan
              yesterday






            • 2





              "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

              – Voo
              19 hours ago












            • @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

              – Arsak
              7 hours ago











            • I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

              – Jan
              6 hours ago
















            Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

            – Martin Schröder
            yesterday





            Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.

            – Martin Schröder
            yesterday




            1




            1





            No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

            – Jan
            yesterday





            No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.

            – Jan
            yesterday




            2




            2





            "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

            – Voo
            19 hours ago






            "Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.

            – Voo
            19 hours ago














            @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

            – Arsak
            7 hours ago





            @Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.

            – Arsak
            7 hours ago













            I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

            – Jan
            6 hours ago





            I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".

            – Jan
            6 hours ago

















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